Writing can be a funny thing and so can life. I’m passionate about both, but sometimes the powers that be conspire against me and wreak havoc with my writing, blogging and yes, with my life. Frankly, I often don’t know where to turn for help or a decent solution. That’s when my writing & blogging life, along with my regular life, bites. I flounder at so much that it often hurts.
There is so much to say and give, but I can’t find a niche for a gainful income. Yes, I love to write, but my writing has value, I like to eat and buy stuff. Yet, I can’t find any paying gigs to write the way I was meant to write and blog for an income. I’m old. What do I have to offer someone? Where am I going to write, blog and use my photos for income? This makes me feel useless and stupid. The writing life and the real life often hurt and are heartbreaking. So, I continue plodding on. I want to help all I can.
Travel Writing Certainly Didn't Work Out as Planned
Some of it is my fault. I procrastinate. Life and other things get in the way. I endeavor and work hard to find an income-bearing writing niche. Finding my way seems impossible. Maybe it isn’t there. Perhaps I gave up years ago, but forgot to tell myself that I gave up. I seriously tried to land travel writing article gigs, but maybe I didn’t try hard enough. Travel, writing and photography are my passions. Nobody seems interested in what I have to offer.
Still, I can’t find the right writing niche. I often feel ready to give up. It’s so hard to sift and search, yet come up empty. My one ideal and dream job of writing, blogging and photographing life and destinations, while earning income from my efforts, seems fleeting. It’s as if the dream vanished into nothing but disappointment and a broken heart in my endeavor to achieve something and have a legacy showing I actually was here, made my mark on life and accomplished something that matters and will endure… something I deeply care about.
Creating a Local Tourism Bureau for Hawkins County is Dead Thanks to No Help
Since our county officials have no vision and are too cheap to help realize promoting Hawkins County, Tennessee as a tourism destination, any hope of a tourism bureau is dead on arrival. I would love to do the writing, blogging and photography in promoting my county’s attractions and show off the off-the-beaten-path items of interest. But nobody in a position to help start this up and hire me for such a position seems to be around anywhere near here. Just a lot of stick-in-the-mud officials live and work here. This is not a one-woman job. More people need to get on board and someone with an influx of a healthy cash flow needs to help. Indeed, I have ideas aplenty, but no real way to get the concept going in a meaningful and lucrative position.
And so the Blog Goes On and On... Maybe That Will Help... Or Not
I wasn’t born in the computer or technology age. Soon, I’ll be 64 years-old and feel I have no passion left or a realized dream to show for all my expended efforts. Nor have I accomplished anything remotely mediocre to explain my existence here on Earth. I’m empty. Ultimately, I’ve got nothing and am going nowhere in my nowhere land. Yet, I’m here to help and I’m definitely not the government. But nobody is listening, even though I timidly asked for help time and again. The attempts were numerous, but to not much avail. I love to write, blog and photograph everything out there the world has to offer, but there are no takers of my wares. So maybe I’ll just fade away and disappear as a mirage into the sunset and give up on my passion for realizing my dream. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be anything but a dream.
I don’t know. It seems I’m fenced in with no direction or hope to steer my way and show the direction to take. Perhaps, I’m perpetually lost in the woods and can’t find my way out. Most assuredly, I felt this was my calling… but maybe it wasn’t. I’m old and maybe it’s time to call it quits, give up and walk away from blogging. What have I got to offer of anything of worth? Maybe it’s time to let the dream die and move in another direction. Anyway, before I take my leave, I’ll pray about it. After almost 15 years of floundering and searching, perhaps an answer is out there somewhere and God will lead me to it… or not. I don’t even know if I have an e-book in me. Maybe it is time to turn the page and move on.